Bitter Sweet...

Becoming a mom of a second child has been very bitter sweet for me.. You see when Noah was a baby I was a different person then. Very selfish and hateful. I wasn't ready to be a mom at that point in my life. Although deep down I loved Noah with all my heart, I didn't do the best at showing it. I was very quick to do what I wanted and not what I needed to do.

I say it has been bitter sweet, because I find my self holding Josie and soaking in every second. Where I did not do that with Noah. I find my self feeling bad for the way I treated him and the mother I was to him as a baby and toddler. I find myself crying at times because I missed out on those moments with Noah, moments I can not get back.. It pains me greatly.. I guess you can say that regret and guilt go hand in hand.. I have them both. I can only move forward from here and try my hardest to be the best mom to both the babies that God has given me!!!

In the 5 years Noah has been playing sports I have only missed ONE game. That was this past fall because I was in the hospital. There was nothing I could do. I know he has no clue that I have only missed one, but I think that is my way of making up for all the time I missed when he was a baby. I only hope it WILL mean something to him when he is older!

Brings us to now...

I left out a few things in the last post I wanted to add....

Nov 15th, Dan turned 30..
Dec 27th, I turned 31...
New Years Eve was pretty much uneventful.. We were all in our bed, Dan snoring and Noah brought in the new year with me and went to sleep. I was making a bottle for Josie as she was screaming. She wanted to bring it in right.. LOL

I also forgot to mention that in the middle of all this Noah made a baseball team playing with boy's that are 10 and under.. He has started his winter warm-up with the Vipers and the Bad News Birds.. He will be on 2 teams this year. He has been on fire at the batting cages. I can't wait to see him hit once the season starts.. My license plates say "RSLGGR" on them.. if he hits like he has been at the cages.. my plates will be oh SOOOO true!!!

Noah is also playing basket ball. His 1st game is tomorrow. I will post some pictures. I can't wait to see him play. He is one of the top two kids on the team.

That brings us to today.. Dan works, Noah back in school and Josie and I are still trying to figure this mommy of a baby thing out! We have great days and we have bad days. She is sleeping in her swing as I type. So sweet!!! Yesterday at the doctor she was 10lbs 7ozs.. She is growing soo fast. I pick up her 1 month pictures next week. I will post them once I get them. Till my next post.. whenever that may be.. Enjoy life, every moment, the good and bad!!!!!

So Much Has Happened... I'm such a Slacker!!!

It has been 8 weeks since I have updated our blog. To those of you who check it regularly I am very sorry. I suppose I can blame it on lack of sleep and tiny hands and feet needing me..

We will begin where we left off....

The arrival of our daughter, Josephine Danielle Faith “Josie” Pingel was Monday Nov 17,2008. She was born at 9:48am, weighing 7lbs 10oz. She was 19 ½ inches tall.

We had a very intense morning…after arriving at 6am here at Progress West, they broke Stephanie's water and started Potosin. About 9:30am, the baby’s heart rate started dropping below 100. They quickly moved her to one side, then the other, and eventually to her knees. The heart rate recovered temporarily each time, but would then fall back below 100.

Her OB came into the room, and quickly made the decision to deliver Josie via emergency Cesarian section. They practically ran Stephanie out of the room. Stephanie wanted me to tell you that they had to knock her out. (I Stephanie am adding this bit..It ended up that the cord was wrapped around Josie's neck 2 times. After the fact we found out that from the time we left my room to the time she was born was only 6 minutes. Everything happened soo fast I did not get a chance to get scared. However afterwards it did hit me! Dan did not get to go back and see her be born since I was knocked out. That was very disappointing for me, but it was more important for Josie to be born safe and healthy!)

Thankfully, both mom and baby are doing well. (This was an e-mail Dan sent out to announce Josie's arrival!) Here are some pictures from that day!

Here is an e-mail I sent out after we got home..

Well we were able to come home on Thursday. It was sooo nice to get home and be able to sleep in our own bed, however I found that I could not lay down in my bed due to soo much abdominal pain. So our first night at home was spent sleeping on our couch. It was a rough night. Josie had a really bad belly ache and was up for two hours screaming in pain. Once we go her settled down and asleep the rest of the night was a breeze.

Friday grandma Pat came over to sit with Josie while we ran to the furniture store to buy a set of recliners so I could have a comfortable place to sleep until I can return back to bed. After Josie having a bad belly ache again and screaming for a another hour in pain I called the doctor. We have switched her formula to Soy. It seems to be better. Last night was then again a rough night. She woke up at 1 to eat and did not go back to sleep until 4 am. She screamed of and on and was fussy. I think she needed to go poop poo and couldn't. She is much better today.

It has been a whirl wind week so far. She is such a happy and content baby. It is such a joy to have her in our lives. God has truly blessed us with such an awesome gift. So many times we were worried that something may be wrong and faced with obstacles and to have her here happy and healthy is the greatest thing. Monday things could have gone such a different way and I just sit and hold her in the marvel that she is as perfect as she is!!! As the old song goes.. I count my blessings and name them one by one.


Big brother Noah is doing awesome. He loves, loves, loves his little sister. He is always wanting to hold her and does so. Ever time he enters and leaves the room where Josie is he has to give her kisses. It is soo fun watching him love and enjoy Josie.

We also want to say a huge thank you to all of you who came to visit us in the hospital. It made the 4 1/2 days fly by. Thank you for all the goodies that you brought. We love them all. Also thank you to all who have brought us meals or have volunteered to do so. It has been quite a blessing!

Tonight Uncle Chris and Aunt Susan get to meet Josie for the first time. We are excited to see them and they are VERY excited to see Josie. I will send out pictures of that meeting next week.

Monday we go to the pediatrician for the first time. Then on Tuesday I go get my staples removed. Wednesday and our 3rd wedding anniversary, then we have the holiday. So as you can tell we have a big and busy week.

The 1st picture is of Josie and her 1st time in a car seat.. the 2nd is of the 2 of us getting some MUCH needed sleep!!!

Then came Thanksgiving!! What a whirlwind holiday.. We were exhausted by the time it was all over!! We had a great time with family and friends! Here is a picture of Josie in her Thanksgiving dress...

Then things got a bit crazy... The 2nd week in Dec Josie started spitting up about .5-1oz of her formula every time she would eat. Then Monday afternoon she started screaming and did not stop for over 24 hours and also started running a fever.. So we ended up at the doctors office and then in the ER. They ran tests and said we were over feeding her, so we cut it back..

Things were better for about 12 hours or so then got bad again.. Screaming uncontrollably... and the spitting up. So we ended up back in the ER on Thursday. They admitted her.. She has severe acid reflux.. It is soo bad it has eroded her esophagus.
She is on IV meds and a few other meds to get her to a point where she is comfortable. We still have a little ways to go. We are still here and hoping to get to go home tomorrow.. They said we will reassess tomorrow and then decide. After 4 days there we got to go home. As of now things are a bit better. They just changed her medicine, so we will see how that works out! Here are some pics from the hospital...

Then we had Christmas.. That was crazy also.. I don't have pictures from that just yet.. I do have a few family pictures we had taken with my mom and dad..